So this bitch today was trying to argue with me that carbs are not a hobby
Who will help with her death?
So I got home from work today
Bent over to pet my dog
And my pants ripped
Like just a giant explosion of ass
That my pants could no longer hold.
Thanks a lot american eagle.
Maynard is a weirdo! But that weirdo loved me unconditionally. You know what I realized? He’s the longest relationship I’ve ever had.
I <3 drinking at work.
I hardly ever check the 30ROCK tag anymore
Its too depressing, but then i feel horrible thinking about how depressing it is to check it….why couldnt they do one more year??
Im a bitch n i dont care. BITCHES GET STUFF DONE.
I’m that person who wont hold the door open for the next person
I’m that person who takes the handicap stall in the bathroom even though there are others open
I’m that person who doesn’t say “hi” back to the toddler who just learned that word and is greeting everyone around them
I’m that person who doesn’t let anybody in, in traffic
I’m that person who takes up two parking spaces
I’m that person who asks the waiter for 100 things to bring to the table other than out order
I’m that person who puts my feet on the seats at the movie theater
I’m that person who will cut in any line
I’m that person who does the blizzard test at dairy queen til it drops and they have to make a new one
I’m that person who doesn’t share anything ever
there are a million other things, and there isn’t anything wrong with any of them
Bitches get stuff done