afancyprostitute:

Tina Fey on the set of Admission.

the-3rd-man:

Daddy: Are you ladies out here talking about Colonel Angus? 

Melinda: Yes, Daddy! I can’t wait to meet him! 

Daddy: Oh, watch out, Melinda! Once a woman is introduced to Colonel Angus, she’ll settle fornothing less. 

Melinda: Daddy, they say all the womenfolk just love Colonel Angus! 

Daddy: Hmm.. I don’t know why people make such a big fuss over Colonel Angus! 

Miss Anabelle: I myself never much cared for Colonel Angus! He rubs me the wrong way. I’m not sure why.. can’t put my finger on it.. 

Daddy: Colonel Angus is an acquired taste! Bedelia! 

[ Bedelia, the maid, comes running onto the porch ] 

Bedelia: Yes, Sir? 

Miss Anabelle: Break out some fresh linens, Bedilia! We’re gonna have Colonel Angus here tonight! 

Bedelia: Colonel Angus? I don’t know nothin’ about no Colonel Angus! 

Daddy: Well, get ready, Bedelia. If I remember correctly, Colonel Angus can be very messy! 

[ at last, Colonel Angus steps onto the porch ] 

Daddy: As I live and breath! Colonel Angus! 

Miss Anabelle: Oh, Colonel Angus! You old Carpetbagger! 

Talent is not sexually transmittable.

”

— Tina Fey, Bossypants (via openbookopenmind)

(Source: mcfly-ttrav, via hey-beautiful-eyes)

When I use Wordplay